Heaven and Hell
by Draco's water melon LoL
Summary: metaphorically, of course. Edward and Bella; how she feels about the boundary line and not being able to have him the way she wants, how he feels about constant awareness and battling two ways of wanting her: as a vampire and as a man. Which one wins? R


I don't own Twilight.

I hope you'll like the story, let me know what you think :)

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There was a fine line between Heaven and Hell. That's the only way they could explain what they felt towards one another.

Bella was in Heaven just by looking at him.

His ethereal beauty and amazing smell always inviting her, intoxicating her. Kissing him was even better, but when ever it got more intense he wouldn't allow further saying it's too dangerous. Which left her to burn with longing and passion feeling like she was in Hell.

In the beginning it didn't matter but as the time was passing it started to get to her. Before Edward she never had a boyfriend, she was never properly kissed, never touched.

And that hurt, a lot. Especially when she actually did have a boyfriend.

It was like Tantalus's punishment:

He was forever thirsty with a water right at his reach but he couldn't drink it because when ever he tried it would move slightly away so it's still there but again he was unable to reach it. He was forever hungry with a food in front of him smelling so good he could almost taste it and yet it was the same as with water when he tried to grab it. And on top of all, he had a big stone on top of his head that was shaking and threatening to fall and crush him any second.

Ironically, it matched her state too.

She needed Edward so badly; and he was right beside her - kissing her lightly, teasing her. But she couldn't kiss him like she wanted, she could never have him the way she wanted. When ever she tried to press their bodies more firmly or dare his mouth to open with her tongue he would push her away.

Leaving her needy and unsatisfied, sad and hurt.

The big stone symbolizes the fear and constant awareness on his part because one mistake and she's dead. That's why the stone is rocking over her head; because killing her would be so easy for him, being what he is.

As he ran towards her house the wind was blowing in his face from the speed making his usually messy hair even more messy. In his mind, there was a mess too. The eternal battles were fought inside of him. On one side he wanted her blood, and on the other he wanted _her_, just her; wanted her like a man he still was, deep under the mask of a vampire he long ago had become.

And he was fighting with himself, afraid of what he might do if he let her cross that invisible boundary line.

He came through the window of her room and leaned on the wall watching his sweet Bella as she rested on her bed with half-closed eyelids. She hasn't noticed him yet because she appeared to be deep in thoughts so he decided to try to read her features a bit, before knocking for her to acknowledge his presence. The look on her face told him she was sad, troubled and ...frustrated.

She was resting on her bed thinking about him and what did she do to deserve such punishment. And she felt depressed; Not only that she was always insecure and lacking self confidence but now she started to get lost in the constant fight she had in her head with herself. She started believing that maybe there is something wrong with her and her body, because maybe he wasn't attracted to her that way, sexually. Maybe she can't satisfy his needs the way a vampire girl could. That thoughts made her jealous. And there she goes again. Wishing she was a vampire so she could be strong and pretty and satisfy him properly. And knowing he would never doom her to that kind of 'life'.

She heard light knocking and looked up.

And she gasps as what she sees.

He's leaning casually against the wall beside her window, knocking only out of politeness. She looks at his gorgeous form and her eyes travel up down from his gray trousers to his flat stomach then to slightly masculine chest and arms that look perfect in the white shirt he is wearing. Finally to his angel-like face and shaggy reddish hair.

He is extremely handsome and so dazzingly beautiful that it hurts her to even look at him. She feels painful pang in her low belly, like there's something that desperately aches for him.

He watches her reaction and says: - I'm sorry if i frightened you -

It seems he misunderstood her reaction. At moments like this, she was grateful he couldn't read her thoughts.

He comes closer to give her a light kiss as a greeting. Their lips meet tenderly and he begins to back away to sit beside on the bed. She tries to stop him pushing him closer desperately and unsuccessfully; he's too strong for her. And as he unlocks her arms gently but firmly separating them something inside of her finally brakes, like a drop that overflowed the glass.

She confesses everything that's been bothering her lately blushing with shame at admitting how much she wants him.

He's standing frozen on the other side of the room where he materialized in a matter of second, far from her so she couldn't reach him. It is too tempting and painful.

He rests there and listens to what she's telling him while thinking, fighting his own battles. He seems to be walking on the line between Heaven and Hell feeling both but threatening to fall on either side.

Suddenly he unfroze, final decision made in his mind. He starts gliding towards Bella with determination in his eyes . . .

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IN 2ND CHAPTER YOU'LL SEE WHAT HE'S THINKING ABOUT, WHAT HIS DECISION IS, ETC :) :) :) ...

probably it would be twoshot, maybe even more - if reviewers say they like it and have any requests or thoughts on what should happen next..

xx water melon :)


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